Helaina and Steph Review 'My Immortal'
by TeEpicKiteh
Summary: That imfamous badfic My Immortal read and commentaried - if that's a word - by me and my evil alter ego.
1. Introduction

**This story is too good not to read with commentary. This could not be read alone so I brought along my alter ego, Helaina Brindley. She's from a Harry Potter RP I'm in and well… Enjoy. **

**Me: Helaina, I don't care what you think, okay? Just read this fic with me. Pleeeaassseee? **

**Helaina: Are yeh crazy? I've heard of this piece of crap fiction no. Just no. **

**Me: Only a few chapters, okay? I just want you to see how terrible this is and I reeaalllyyy want you to review it with me. **

**Helaina: *Gives me a look of disgust* No. I'm not gonna read this. I swear I'm not gonna read this. I ain't gonna let you make me read this. **

**-Much pleading later-**

**Helaina: Okay, I swear I'm blamin' yeh for any brain damage I get. **

**Me: *Claps hands excitedly* This is gonna be great. **

_**AN: I do not own this story. I only own Helaina, myself, and whatever other OCs decide to intrude. All of my/Helaina's posts are in bold so you don't get confused. **_


	2. Chapter 1

**Me: Yay! Jumping right into the story then!**

**Helaina: *grumbles into lap***

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

**Helaina: What's MCR?**

**Me: A muggle rock band. They're pretty good, I guess.**

**Helaina: I'm no grammar student, but what's up with 'er spellin'?**

**Me: She's a teenage girl, okay? **

**Helaina: *facepalms***

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name)

**Helaina: Her parents were Seers? **

**Me: Yeah, I guess. Shh… Let's continue **

with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee.(AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!)

**Helaina: That means I can go right? **

**Me: No.**

I'm not related to Gerard Way

**Helaina: Who? **

**Me: The lead singer of MCR **

**Helaina: What's MCR stand fer anyways? **

**Me: My Chemical Romance now shut up, and let's get this over with… **

but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.

**Me: And that my good friend, is also known as incest. **

**Helaina: That's. Jest. Sick. *fakes gagging***

I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.

**Helaina: What? So jest 'cause she's a vampire that means 'er teeth **_**shouldn't **_**be straight an' white? I've met plenty vampires an' yeh know what? I'm not even gonna use reason any more… **

**Me: Good. **

I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England

**Both: Scotland! **

where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me.

**Me: *Begins to rage* Maybe they were staring at you because it's freezing cold and you're wearing- **

**Helaina: Calm down. It's jest a story. **

I put up my middle finger at them.

**Helaina: I kinda like her **

**Me: Of course you do, she's an ass to people **

**Helaina: No, she's got personality. **

**Me: Wait 'till you read the rest…**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy!

**Helaina: Why does every teenage girl want the date Draco Malfoy? *Facepalms again* **

**Me: C'mon, he **_**was**_** actually kinda cute **

**Helaina: *eye roll***

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

**Helaina: No. In fact that was awful. Why in the name of hell would you make me read this? **

**Me: Because I didn't wanna do it alone. **


	3. Chapter 2

**Helaina: Please tell me it gets better**

**Me: It gets worse**

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

**Helaina: Are we flaming the story?**

**Me: No we're just reviewing it**

**Helaina: What's a prep anyways? **

**Me: *Shrugs* Don't know. Don't care. **

The next day I woke up in my bedroom.

**Me: *Gasp* I never would've thought! **

**Helaina: This girl is a idiot.**

It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony

**Helaina: Black ebony? Bit redundant, ain't it? **

**Me: Yeah, she does that sometimes… **

**Helaina: Does what? Be stupid? **

**Me: Pretty much **

and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!)

**Helaina: That poor Willow… **

woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair

**Me: I whip my hair back and forth! I whip my hair back and forth! **

**Helaina: What? **

**Me: Muggle song, sorry.**

with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes.

**Helaina: She flipped her hair then opened her eyes? **

**Me: Yes, yes she did. **

**Helaina: *Headdesk* **

She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

**Helaina: More of her famous clothing scenes? **

**Me: Unfortunately… Why can't she just shut up? **

**Helaina: You were the one who wanted to read it. **

**Me: Avada Kedavra me now. Just kidding!**

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

**Me: I. Hate. This. Bitch. **

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

**Helaina: Hypocrite**

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

**Helaina: Another muggle band? **

**Me: Yep. **

**Helaina: Why's there so many muggle things in this fic? **

**Me: Damned if I know…**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

**Helaina: That was awful, I'm going the bed so I can get those braincells back. **

**Me: I guess so. I don't wanna read this crap anymore */le sob* **

**Helaina: You forced me teh read it, so now yeh have the read this with me. **

**Me: I really hate you, you know that? **

**Helaina: Yep.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Helaina: Up fer another chapter?**

**Me: Not really. **

**Helaina: *smugface***

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

**Helaina: So, I really only need you here teh explain thin's teh me. Like how the hell she got any good reviews.**

**Me: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. *mumbles* I really really hate you. **

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff

**Helaina: 'Corset stuff'? 'riginal this girl is, ain't she? **

**Me: Wait 'till you finish it. **

**Helaina: Oh Merlin! Tell me you haven't read this thin'? **

**Me: Nah, I just read a few synopses.**

on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert. **Helaina: Lovely…**

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

**Helaina: *laughing* I would kill to see Draco Malfoy in a muggle band t-shirt an' eyeliner **

**Me: *-_-* **

**Helaina: I won't actually kill 'nyone, don't worry. *Evil grin* **

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.

**Helaina: Excited, ain't she?**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.

**Me: Such a great role model. **

When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

**Helaina: I've never been to a muggle concert before, but I'm guessin' that havin' a conversation durin' one isn't really that easy **

**Me: It really isn't. This girl knows nothing!**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

**Both: *Rolling on the floor with laughter* **

**Me: *Laughing* Her blonde face! Oh Merlin that's priceless.**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into... the Forbidden Forest!

**Helaina: I don't have a good feelin' 'bout this. **

**Me: Me either, let's take a break. I need to rest my brain. **

**Helaina: But it's just getting' good. If yeh can call this crap good. **


	5. Chapter 4

**Me: I cannot. Believe. Myself. I still hate you.**

**Helaina: You wanted me to read this in the first place. **

**Me: Not the point.**

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

**Helaina: Shag her probably. **

**Me: I can't believe you said that. **

**Helaina: Why? **

**Me: Because you of all people know that Draco Malfoy's being out of character… **

**Helaina: Still, it's true ain't it? **

**Me: I. Hate. You. **

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

**Me: Then they both fell from the sky and died?**

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

**Helaina: Evilness calms 'er down? No matter 'ow much she annoys me… **

**Me: What? She reminds you of yourself? *Mumbles* Evil bitch *End mumble* **

**Helaina: I'm not evil.**

And then... suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

**Helaina: Kinky… Not really. Either write a good sex scene 'r none at all…**

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

**Helaina: Snape? **

**Me: Umbridge? **

It was...Dumbledore!

**Both: *Rolling on the floor laughing* **

**Helaina: Too bad Dumbledore's dead. I would love to see him say that.**


	6. Chapter 5

**Helaina: Steph's (the girl who wrote as 'me') gone with a bad headache from reading four chapters in a row, so I'm just reviewing this chapter by myself. Fun. **

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache **I wonder if I could get Steph to swear at me like that because of her headache **ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **How the hell did she keep going?**

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted. **Umm, Dumbledore taught me for my first year of 'Ogwarts an' he never said 'ludicrous fools'. **

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. **'Mediocre dunces?' Yet she can't spell 'the' er 'reason'? **

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape. **Only knew the guy fer two years, but I expected more from 'im.**

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **What? An' I got a detention fer skippin' classes? Unfair!**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out...

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing "I just wanna live" by Good Charlotte. **They don't allow boys in the girl's dorms! This girl's an idiot…** I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. **No shit. How'd he break the spell teh get in? **We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

**Hopefully Steph gets better so I don't have teh go through this blasted thin' alone...**


	7. Chapter 6

**Steph(me): Finally feeling better, what'd I miss?**

**Helaina: Nothin' great. Yeh ludicrous fool.**

**Me: What?**

**Helaina: Nothin'**

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

**Helaina: Oh, too bad I was gettin' into it.**

**Me: How? I knew you weren't that smart. But how is this rubbish any good?**

**Helaina: It's funny as hell.**

**Me: Gotta give you that. Allons-y. **

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

**Helaina: What about your gorram wand? **

**Me: What was that about the story being funny? **

**Helaina: It's still funny, jest also crap. **

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal

**Me: We don't have that in England!**

with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood.

**Helaina: Lovely…  
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Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore

**Me: Oh Merlin, no. Tell me she didn't just- No, just no! **

and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore.

**Me: I. Hate. This. Bitch.**

He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden.

**Helaina: Who?**

**Me: No clue…**

He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

**Me: You said it honey, not me…**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.

**Helaina: Tee hee hee, Steph. I LOVE the taste of human blood. Hee hee**.

**Me: *laughs uncontrollably at the sheer idiocy***

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

**Me: Runnin' out of adjectives aren't you?**

"Yeah." I roared.

**Me: Spoke too soon.**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

**Helaina: Another shag? So soon? Ah well. Young love. **

**Me: What are you going on about?**

**Helaina: Nothin'.**


	8. Chapter 7

**AN: I may not have said this before, but can people please review? It lets me know that people are reading this…**

**Me: Actually, it's just me today. Helaina had to be put away in that little part of my brain that she goes into when she's feeling sick. I AM NOT CRAZY! *twitch***

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. **God reviewed this crap?** n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! **TIN! I say! Tin! Erm.. What? **STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue** You're right, honey. She's a Mary Sue.** ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. **You held each other's hands with black nail polish? How does that work exactly?** I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?) **Yes, a goth Mary Sue.**. I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. **I seriously doubt that** Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then... **I Avada-ed your ass and you died? *hopeful***

We started frenching passively **Frenched passively? ****Bonjour.**And we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra ***Le shudder*** and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine **Wait. What? **and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?) **Very.**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm **Getting a bit graphic here…** when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words... Vampire! **Whoopsiedaisy**

I was so angry. **Why?**

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much. **She knows too much? Kill her. Oh Merlin, I've become Helaina.**

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" **Homophobe…**

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

***LAUGHING* I can see Snape's face. **


	9. Chapter 8

**Helaina: I'm baacckk! **

**Me: *Grumbles into lap* It was better without you.**

**Helaina: I brought Adam! **

**Me: I really really really REALLY hate you. **

_**(Adam is Helaina's uncle. He is an ass. And a Death Eater.)**_

**Adam: Why'd yeh drag me here 'Laina? **

**Helaina: To read this shit**

AN: stop flassing

**Adam: Flassing?**

**Me: You'll get used to it…**

**Adam: I'd better not.**

**Helaina: Trust me, you will.**

ok! if u do den u r a prep!

**Adam: Prep?**

**Me: I think it means anyone who doesn't like her…**

**Helaina & Adam: *High five* Preps for life!**

**Adam: I already hate her. **

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

**Adam: The Malfoy boy? **

**Me: The one and only.**

**Adam: A Malfoy would never beg for forgiveness…**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort

**Adam & Helaina: *shudder at name***

killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

**Helaina: I'm a Slytherin and I'm not a Satanist.**

**Me: True, but you **_**are**_** a Death Eater.**

**Adam: What's wrong with being a Death Eater.**

**Me: Oh, besides the murders? Nothing really…**

**Adam: You'll regret yeh said that.**

**Me: Oh! Look there's still more of the story left.**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

**Helaina: Wait wasn't she going out with Draco? **

**Me: Yeah. Merlin this girl is more confusing than me.**

Everyone gasped.

**Adam: Because everyone cares…**

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me.

**Adam: Did this idiot girl jest change point o' view? In the middle of the story? Merlin I hate this bitch.**

I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

**Adam: But the preps are the only cool people so far.**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into

**Adam: Flames? **

tears.

**Adam: Why. Me? *headdesk***

**Me: *Rubs his back* It'll be okay. **


	10. Chapter 9

**AN: While reading this, I have nyan cat blaring in my ears. Expect minor crack...**

**Helaina: Adam, yeh think yeh can 'andle another 'nother chapter?**

**Adam: May's well, destroyed enough brain cells readin' the last one so why the hell not read another one? **

**Me: This is one of my favourite chapters.**

**Adam: You've read this crap already?**

**Me: I skimmed...**

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!

**Adam: MCR? **

**Me & Helaina: Muggle band.**

**Adam: How do yeh know muggle band names 'Laina?**

**Helaina: Steph**

**Adam: *Glares***

**Me: *Shrinks in seat***

I was so mad and sad.

**Me: At least she wasn't also a glad lad…**

I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me.

**Helaina: I thought Vampire cheated on her? *Smugface***

I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

**Adam: That would probably mean something to me if you didn't describe it as 'doing it'.**

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick!

**Me: Oh Merlin's beard no…**

**Adam: Um… I don't like where this's goin'**

**Helaina: Me either… **

He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was... Voldemort!

**Adam and Helaina: Shit! **

**Me: *Laughing* **

**Adam: *Glares again* What's so funny? The Dark Lord attacks an' yehr laughing? **

**Me: It's a **_**fanfiction**_**! It's all fake poorly written crap.**

**Adam: *blushes***

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

**Adam: That makes sense… **

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"

**Adam: Oh come on! Of all the times I've seen 'im 'e's never spoken in 'olde' English.**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic **(Me: Sexy) **black hair and how his **(Me: Sexy)** face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that **(Me: Sexy) **Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with

**Me: Sex- **

**Helaina: Shut up! **

**Me: Okey…**

Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?

**Adam: Would make sense, wouldn't it?**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

**Me: That's not even proper olde English!**

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face.

**Helaina: I didn't think he even had a *skims story again* 'dude-you're-so-retarded' look.**

**Adam: He didn't.**

"I hath telekinesis."

**Me: Telepathy**

he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

**Helaina: He don't need no gorram broomstick.**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

**Me: Le magic!**

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit)

**All: *Groan***

between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

**Adam: Who?**

**Me: Muggle artists I think…**

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

**Me: How do they make out while walking?**

**Adam: How did this even get in a book?**

**Me: No clue…**


	11. Chapter 10

**Adam: Well, Helaina's gone…**

**Me: And…? **

**Adam: We still have that story…**

**Me: And…?**

**Adam: Let's get this thin' ov'r with!**

**Me: Are you okay?**

**Adam: No. I wanna finish this thin' an' get on with my life…**

**Me: You don't have to read it.**

**Adam: I'm finishin' it. I've gotta finish it.**

**Me: Okay, okay we won't wait for Helaina then.**

**Adam: Okay then. Let's get through this next chapter.**

AN: stup it u gay fags

**Adam: Homophobic bitch!**

if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle

**Me: She never was a muggle in the first place?**

afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

**Adam: Yeh can't jest change houses because you changed religions! I hate this bitch.**

I was really scared about Vlodemort

**Me: I'd be more worried about Voldemort.**

**Adam: That's not funny. I'd be worried teh. **

**Me: Fanfiction, remember? **

**Adam: Bugger off.**

all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666.

**Adam: Real original bloody name.**

I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR.

**Adam: In other words you suck. A lot.**

The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.)

**Me: Diabolo? Isn't that a muggle game?**

**Adam: How should I know? You're the mudblood here.**

**Me: Oi! Watch it. I may be a mud- muggle born but I could probably beat your ass.**

**Adam: Oh yeah? Try!**

**Me: No, I'm finishing the story with or without you!**

and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s

**Me: You just said it. Right in the previous paragraph! **

(there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak)

**Adam: I could use a steak now. 'M starvin'.**

and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

**Me: That's like Adam holding out his Dark Mark and saying 'I might look like a Death Eater, but I ain't'.**

**Adam: *Glares***

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

**Adam: 'Er singin's really that bad eh?**

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears.  
>Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.<p>

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)

**Adam: Very.**

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

**Me: Then we all cried and drowned in our own tears? **

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

**Adam: Makes sense teh me…**

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely.

**Me: Dumbledore even cried wisely!**

(c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."

**Adam: Wait? What? Didn't yeh just say in this chapter that he couldn't die by slittin' 'is wrists? **

**Me: Yeah. Now I'm confused...**

**Adam: Well yeh aren't the smartest one in the group...**

**Me: And you are?**

**Adam: Well... not teh brag 'r nothin' but... **

**Me: But this! Stupify! *Runs off into bedroom and locks door***

**Adam: Good, I'll be goin' then.**

**Me: Don't come back!**


	12. Chapter 11

**Adam: I'm reviewing by myself. Steph's to afraid of me and Helaina's… out. **

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111** I 'avn't even read it yet an' I think it's stupid** it delz wit rly sris issus! **Serious issues eh?** sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid **I will then. **brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off **That's what I always say to my friends when they try teh help** and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. **Love, Dumbledore's about as straight as a broken wand. **

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes **Yer wrists got all over yer clothes?**so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song **Filthy muggle band! **at full volume. I grabbed a steak **Well, now I'm 'ungry…** and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed... Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! **Lupin was chewin' teh it? Intrestin'** They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! **But yeh weren't naked! Yeh just had one of yer dressin' scenes right up there!** ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in. **And he isn't a perve? Wait. Aren't yeh 17? 'ow are they pervs then? Bit weird it is, but not perv-y unless yeh haven't hit puberty yet?**

"Abra Kedavra!" **Avada! It's Avada Kedavra!** he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb.** Lupin's pregnant?** I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. **Wait. Shouldn't they be dead?** Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" **Do not want? **he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly...

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" **There're two thin's wrong with that statement.**

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT..." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" **Lovely. Is everyone a Satanist then?**

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors." **What factors?**

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly. **Well, yeh jest lost me…**

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. **Trium-elephant-l** "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. **Yeah, I get that feelin' all the time…**

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. **Eugh. Too much info.**

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. **Well, now she's actin' like a vampire.**

"BECAUSE...BECAUSE..." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. **Who?**

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!" ***Pukes* Well. Then. That's unexpected… **

**AN: I'd like to thank ****ImNotShortImHobbitSized for the reviews. People like you keep me writing! And pottergirl1 and ImNotShortImHobbitSized for putting this on alert. Yeah, little things like that are important to me. I'm going to add approx. 2-4 more chapters tonight. **


	13. Chapter 12

**Steph(Me): Yes! Adam's finally gone. Thank Merlin. That guy creeps me out.**

**Helaina: Oi! That's my uncle. **

**Me: He's still creepy.**

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu!

**Me: What issue?**

**Helaina: *shrugs***

how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric

**Helaina: Cedric? Digg'ry? He's fricken dead!**

ok!

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him.

**Me: You'd think that scene may have been vital?**

He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

**Helaina: 'is red whites? That makes no sense! I swear when I finish this I'm goin' teh Avada this stupid bitch. **

I stopped. "How did u know?"

**Helaina**: **Know what? From teh sounds of't he's jest walkin' inteh 'er bedroom. **

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation."

**Me: Wait, wait, wait. You made him change it into a pentagram, then you just cover it back up? *facepalm***

he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco...Volfemort has him bondage!"

**Helaina: …**

**Me: …**

**Helaina: I really hope she doesn't show us that scene**

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's

**Me: Sounds like a church for fruit or something…**

after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated

**Me: Dumbledore's constipated? That sucks…**

the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?"

**Helaina: How can flowers be Goths? **

I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

**Me: Idiot girl! You're mad at him for getting you the wrong colour of flowers? **

"I saved your life!"

**Helaina: What?**

He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong)

**Me: Yep**

to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

**Helaina: Yeh really think high of yehrself don't yeh?**

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio

**Me: I've invented some weird spells before but what the hell was that?**

(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

**Helaina: Any first year cin change flowers into black flames! **

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?"

**Me: Yes. What the f- is Draco?**

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT

**Helaina: That was dumb. **) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

**Me: Yes 'cause **_**that**_** makes sense…**

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"

**Helaina: What did Dumbledore lie 'bout? **

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff

**Helaina: More 'corset stuff' eh?**

on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong

**Me: That sounds hideous!**

on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit)

**Helaina:** **THAT JOKE'S GETTIN' OLD!**

you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood.

**Me: You're a vampire! You don't have blood!**

I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then... we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

**Me: Déjà vu?**

**Helaina: Yeah. Di'n't we 'ready go through this?**

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco...Volfemort has him bondage!"

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I

**Helaina: Once again. 'Nother pure shit chapter. An' it was long. **

**Me: I hope I don't have to go through another chapter like that…**

**Helaina: I don't even wanna finish this… *Growls***

**Me: You don't have to…**

**Helaina: I'm gonna. **

**Me: Okay then. You're just screwin' yourself. **


	14. Chapter 13

**Adam: 'Ey 'Laina.**

**Helaina: Adam.**

**Adam: Steph.**

**Me: Adam. **

**Helaina: 'Nough with the introductions, I wanna get this shit over with…**

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

**Adam & Me: Preps for life!**

**Adam: …**

**Me: … **

**Adam: Let's forget that 'appened.**

**Me: Agreed**

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.

**Adam: Dumbledore would never call a stud'nt a despicable**

"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

**Me: This**_** is**_** still Dumbledore we're talking about. Right?**

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony."

**Me: Yeah, actually he should care, and he would've**

he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)

**Adam: I thought yeh were a homophobe…**

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then... suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra"

**Helaina: It's Avada! Avada Kedavra!**

**Adam: She made that mistake last time…**

**Helaina: It isn't that hard of a spell!**

It was... Voldemort!

**Adam: *Whimpers instinctively* Cin yeh 'tleast stop sayin the name?**

**Me: If it's in the story…**


	15. Chapter 14

**AN: Tell me which characters you would like to see more of in the reviews! And if wanted, I could bring in people from other shows/books/movies, just request it and I'll see what I can do.**

**Adam: Oh Merlin, what the hell is gonna 'appen this chapter?**

**Me: Getting into it are you, Adam?**

**Adam: No, jus' curious, that's all.**

**Me: Sure…**

**Adam: Where's 'Laina?**

**Me: Don't know.**

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists.

**Me: That's something I would announce.**

PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

**Adam: Okay. *Lowers pants, prepares to take a dump on the book***

**Me: Adam!**

**Adam: What?**

**Me: That's disgusting!**

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

**Me: Who's Snaketail?**

**Adam: Yeh think jest 'cause I'm a Death Eater I know?**

**Me: Well, yeah. **

**Adam: *Glares***

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "." he said.

**Adam: Oh Merlin, a lovey-dovey look? Why do I know where this is goin'?**

**Me: Because it's obvious?**

(in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

"Huh?" I asked.  
>"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail.<p>

**Adam: Oh yeah, that's a pickup line I use all the time.**

I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? **(Me: One) **You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck**(Adam: Two)** you? God, you are so fucked**(Me:Three)** up you fucking **(Adam: Four)** bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!"

**Me: Do not want!**

he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort.

**Adam: *Groans and shivers at once***

**Me: The guy's dead, get over it.**

**Adam: From experience he doesn't alw'ys stay dead long…**

Then... he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us.

**Me: *Laughing* Voldemort wore high heels?**

**Adam: Quit sayin' the name?**

**Me: Sorry. (No, I'm not)**

So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah)

**Me: No, that's dumb.**

and a really huge you-know-what

**Me: No, we don't know what. Please tell us.**

and everything.

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco.

**Adam: And she isn't?**

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?"

**Adam: Cry me a river, bitch.**

I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.

**Me: Someone's hormonal...**

**Adam: Yeah. **


	16. Chapter 15

**AN: Well since no one told me who they want to see more of, I'll continue doing what I was doing… I really would like to know if anyone wants to see any more/less of the three main critics so let me know in the reviews! Also, tell me if I'm doing good/bad. **

**Me: Back to the crap! Yay!**

**Helaina: *mutters something about hating me***

**Me: Oh shut it and let's finish this…**

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz!

**Me: Oh, poor girl. She won't lat very long, will she?**

fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!

"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"

But I was too mad.

**Me: Dramatic effect!**

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!"

**Helaina: Bu' I thought she thought gay guys were hot?**

I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed.

**Helaina: Vampires don't 'ave blood!**

Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

**Helaina: Biology?**

**Me: Muggle class.**

**Helaina: Why is she taking a muggle class in 'Ogwarts?**

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters.

**Me: I just realized something. **

**Helaina: What?**

**Me: What about the dress code? Does it not apply to her?**

I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar.

**Me: Biology class now involves transfiguration apparently…**

Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!

**Helaina: Not weird at all.**

"Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!." Then... he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death"

**Helaina: Sounds very un-r'mantic**

(we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson

**Me: DO NOT WANT! **

(AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

**Helaina: Okay! *gets up to leave***

**Me: *Shoves back into seat* Nope, you are finishing this chapter.**

**Helaina: Grr…**

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch)

**Me: Then why compare yourself to her? **

and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.

**Helaina: 'Nother *cough* brilliant *Cough* chapter**

**Me: And a cliffhanger! What more could we ask for?**

**Helaina: A barf bag… **


End file.
